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Description
Planning trip to England
Date
11-7-1861
Keywords
letter, McIlvaine, Chase, England
Recommended Citation
McIlvaine, Charles Pettit, "Letter to S. P. Chase" (1861). Charles Pettit McIlvaine Letters. 151.
https://digital.kenyon.edu/mcilvaine_letters/151
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Transcript
Por[?]
[Anc. Am. ?]
My dear Mr. Chase,
I have rec’d your [turn] letter of Oct. 31. I had had doubts that my [estimate] of expenses would be considered reasonable; though it is a question whether in a proper self-respect I should have em[?ed] to go with any help of credit than either of the other gentlemen will [?], whether I should use it all, or not.
But the [?] has turned a very different aspect since I have learned from you that the [steward] thinks “A spirit of six or eight week would answer all practiced speech.”
My understanding, and that which you gave me, when we first mused about it, has been that the question with me, has been simply whatever duty to the county demands, concertedly with duty to my spiritual office and influence? The thought of leaving the county in this time of her tribulation; of seeming to be seeking ever our pleasure, whether the dear Lord warns; or noting England when such is the feeling these lands of our country was far from agreeable. But all I desired was to know whether I ought to go. I have never concluded that our such a [?] as to [send] [?] contemplative. I ought not to go. It is th[?] responsibility.
But now, [?] Chase, I must ask your kind consideration of the following: when I left Washington, I supposed the nation was finally concluded on . I was to enter quietly and leisurely with such [?], as we [?] circumstances I should go into (and I may here say that my [apocit?] with the high religions [?] of the Church of England, as such, in part of the extent, as is other [?] has) and exercise the conversational experiences for which such occupation would naturally be sent opportunity. But, to do anything in that way, worth my going for, in this time mentioned, is positively out of the question. [?] the other gentlemen [?] [?] handled? I understand that, should I stay longer, it would be at my own cost, which I could not afford.
[?] how would my going seem at home and in England? Bishop M H [?] leaves his diocese and family and country, takes a winter [?] to England, stays there only six or eight weeks, takes another winter voyage back. Why such expensive an expense [?] [?] assumption of duties at home? Nobody will suppose I took such engagement and stayed so short a time for any but most urgent calls of duty. But what is the duty? It must get out. My own reputation would not [?] against the explanation. Thus it becomes known in England that I [?] an Agent of the God, [?] to pay; thus my communications interpreted, my comfort and usefulness, are determined.
Now, my dear friend, I think you will agree with me, that the government ought not to be at the expense of such a [?] and I should not undertake it. If I would take it and I that [?] only needed my decision to accept it. At your request, I made an estimate of expenses, not doubting that it would be considered, as it has been, too much. It was very desirable that I should sail as soon as possible, as well, for the object, as I and [?] [?] winter sea. I thought to begin at [?] and get ready, and went to expense for outfit. Not leaving, [?] as soon as you expected, I suspended for another preparations [?] needs much since. But I had purchased the extend of $250 [?] in things as were needed for proper appearances in such circles as I expected to enter, but which I should not think have M[?ed]. Thy [?] as princep of [?] [?] into [?] or the [?] of these. If I have to [?] the bill, it will very severely burden a [?]-- already just sufficient for the [?] [?] of a close economy. Of the $250, I am willing to take $85. The remainder [?]. I really think should be provisioned out of hte fund which I was led to rely on. I will leave it to your consideration knowing your kinship.
I hope my kind friend [?] has got [?], with the new carpet for your office. Keeping a good taste in that, as in diverse other matters,
Yours affectionately,
Cha. P. McIlvaine
Please let me hear from you soon.