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CHURCH, FAMILY: MCI ill, wants son to go into ministry


KMcI 570429




letter, McIlvaine, Wharton, church, family


Cinn., O., April 29, ‘57.

My Dear Bro.:

I have written a letter from the Vestry, and another for the man of the two named, whom they may choose. I hope one or the other may be got. I am now trying what I may be fit for in a visitation, and I find in my head more disturbed than I hoped would be the case. I do not see that I can expect to endure, and escape a sudden and entire break down, except I can restrict my preaching to about once a Sunday, and perhaps once in the week (on visitation), and be exceeding quiet in the intervals. The latter is quite as difficult to effect as the former. Incessant talking—the worrying needs and infirmities of small parishes—the expectations which I cannot gratify—the troubles which I cannot relieve—seem to wear on me as much as preaching— at least on my spirits much more—so that I think my prospect of much more work, except in a very quiet way, is not good. I hope I am to have a son in the ministry, who will take up the message as I am dropping it. I have such a sense of the danger of leading in advance of the Lord, that I have purposely avoided putting the question of the ministry before him till within two or three weeks. I only want the Lord to lead and he with a glad mind, to follow. I trust he will feel himself called by God, and ready to say, ‘Here am I, send me.’’ He is now in the question, and I pray for him to Him who only can teach him. I hope he may escape his weakness of eyes this Spring. We were delighted with his spirit at home. He was, as before, disappointed and troubled (as much for my sake as his own) about his grading, and thinking he was placed lower in Butler than he deserved, and I should not wonder if it were the case, because with honest and independent men, situated towards me as the Professors are, the temptation, instead of being unduly to favor my son, will be so to show that they do not—that unconsciously and unintentionally they err on the other side.

Yrs. affectionately,

Chas. P. McIlvaine.

Letter to Francis Wharton



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