1 00:00:09,220 --> 00:00:14,180 Growing up in Tegucigalpa, Honduras, I was encouraged to pursue my curiosities and passions. 2 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:18,820 However, as as a queer boy, I learned that my fluid forms of expression 3 00:00:18,980 --> 00:00:23,260 were at odds with the strict set of expectations of Honduran masculinity. 4 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:29,820 I feared social alienation and constructed my masculinity after my father and my brother. 5 00:00:30,140 --> 00:00:35,520 I internalised, repeated, and performed a number of inflections, mannerisms, and interests 6 00:00:36,020 --> 00:00:37,740 to safely navigate the world. 7 00:00:38,340 --> 00:00:43,940 Nonetheless, I became progressively less confident in this masculinity because it was artificially 8 00:00:43,940 --> 00:00:45,000 constructed. 9 00:00:46,060 --> 00:00:51,079 When I was fifteen, my parents decided to move from Tegucigalpa to the bustling metropolis 10 00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:52,320 of Los Angeles. 11 00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:54,860 Because my siblings were living in the U.S., 12 00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:59,180 this move would bring our family together and offer economic opportunities. 13 00:00:59,740 --> 00:01:04,840 To me, moving meant leaving behind the comfort of the communities that nurtured me. 14 00:01:05,320 --> 00:01:10,020 The move represented the possibility of forgetting the tropical landscape and streets that watched 15 00:01:10,020 --> 00:01:11,740 me grow. 16 00:01:12,900 --> 00:01:17,119 In Los Angeles, I refashioned my identity to reflect the individual I had suppressed 17 00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:18,120 for years. 18 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:21,420 Developing strong friendships with visibly queer people at school 19 00:01:21,940 --> 00:01:25,580 helped me let go of the burden of performing a homogeneous masculinity. 20 00:01:26,140 --> 00:01:31,660 I no longer felt the need to conceal my sexuality and personality from the public eye. 21 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:37,140 Nonetheless, I struggled to articulate my non-conforming identity to my parents. 22 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:41,600 I often wore the mask of a burdensome masculinity around them. 23 00:01:42,100 --> 00:01:46,200 I felt the need to introduce my new self progressively to them, 24 00:01:46,420 --> 00:01:50,900 in an attempt to deconstruct the concept of a single, defined man. 25 00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:54,160 I started experimenting in fashion, aesthetics, 26 00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:58,040 grooming, and physical expressions within my home. 27 00:01:58,740 --> 00:02:04,360 In college, the physical distance between me and my family gave me a feeling of complete 28 00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:05,360 freedom. 29 00:02:05,660 --> 00:02:10,160 I took full ownership of my sexuality and newly conceived masculine identity, 30 00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:15,420 allowing them to permeate and inspire my artistic vernacular in dance. 31 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:19,400 Through dance, I could communicate pluralities in gender expression 32 00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:22,940 and reclaim the movement I once denied for myself. 33 00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:28,840 After years of performing for the sake of others, I finally found the freedom to perform 34 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:29,840 for myself 35 00:02:30,100 --> 00:02:33,160 and project myself out into the world. 36 00:02:34,500 --> 00:02:39,880 I was anxious about my return to Honduras, where queerness is culturally stigmatised. 37 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:44,420 But, once there, I was able to laugh with friends and express myself. 38 00:02:44,940 --> 00:02:50,840 To my surprise, someone in the conversation quietly asked me "Are you gay?" 39 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:53,560 and I responded confidently, "Yes." 40 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:56,960 He was caught off guard by my honesty and conviction, 41 00:02:57,220 --> 00:03:01,920 and I was equally surprised when he said "You know, I am, too." 42 00:03:02,340 --> 00:03:05,680 I was the first person to whom he disclosed his identity. 43 00:03:06,140 --> 00:03:11,280 I represented for him what my first queer friends in Los Angeles represented for me: 44 00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:14,680 an unapologetic example of visibility. 45 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:20,250 My process of becoming comfortable with my queer identity as a Latino has been defined 46 00:03:20,250 --> 00:03:22,230 by performing. 47 00:03:23,690 --> 00:03:29,060 I learned that taking off the mask leads to an introspective review of my identity. 48 00:03:30,500 --> 00:03:34,540 Being visibly comfortable in my identity validates my sense of belonging in the world 49 00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:38,960 and helps others feel secure with their non-conforming identities, too.